I’m starting to feel depressed again. I’m worried because this time I have nothing to feel depressed about. Besides my physical pain… Which I’m perpetuating with self abuse. I took the day off work today. I feel broken. My body is starting to die. My addictions have sucked the life from me. I have given myself entirely over to satisfying the insatiable. I would gladly die today, preferably by the hand of another. I don’t think it matters what The addiction is…Addictions destroy lives. I hate being an addict. I can’t stop, not until I am literally unable to move. Then I just collapse. I can’t live like this much longer.
I miss being told off. I miss being ignored. I miss being overlooked. I miss being put down and called stupid. I miss being made to feel worthless. I miss fighting for love.
Happiness is a lie. Darkness speaks the truth. I want to suffer again.