I’ve been depressed for a really long time, and I’ve been feeling alone my whole life really. People keep leaving me and now the one person who’s made me feel happy is gonna leave me too. we met in a mental hospital a year ago and we’ve gotten really close. She had really bad eating disorder and i actually got her to start eating again. And I’ve helped to not cut and eventually she did stop,=-)… she keeps asking me why i’m so nice to her and i keep telling her that she’s my best friend and that i care about her when really i have a lot of feelings for her, and she knows because well its pretty obvious (LoL). Well i don’t really care if we ever have a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship just that she doesn’t hurt herself. well she’s going to prom with some guy in her class and i’m really happy for her but now she wont even talk to me, i mean did i do something wrong, I didn’t hit on her because she always she didn’t want to be in a relationship she said because she felt too unstable and now she’s dating this guy in her that I’ve never met because we don’t go to the same school. but i’m still happy for her because she’s being social and found someone but what did i do. am i a dick for feeling this way, i care about her. were both freshmen and our birth-dates are one 2 months apart. i didn’t want sex or someone to do drugs with or any of those things, i just wanted to not feel alone, to actually have a friend, is that so fucking wrong. i never put my shit on her she put a whole bunch on me and i never complained. she wont txt nor call nor message me on fb and i know she see’s them because it says she does. so here i am all alone, i just want to know i did something wrong again, if im really that fun of a person to mess with. should i kill myself. i dont know, i try to tell myself to be positve but its so fucking hard, sorry for cuss sing so much. i don’t know anymore.
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The wonderful world of women. They are like wild horses. You can carefully, patiently coax one to come near and maybe let you touch her mane before she bolts off and just takes immediately to someone else, even if it is a bad idea. Try Axe deodorant.
I can give you some tips, women’s brain aren’t wired in the same way of a man’s brain does.
Add me on skype and we can talk about it if you want to.
my skype nick : artoriasandsif
ok, i will thanks.=-)
It’s not women against men FFS. I’ve had a hard emotionally cold time from men too.
Basically when you care about someone you’re risking getting hurt. Mostly because love is never balanced, one Always loves more than the other. Even if that love is platonic.
When ‘people’ fall in love they often cut off friends, especially members of the opposite sex. People do stupid things in the name of love. It doesn’t matter if they are male or female we’re all fucking idiots just the same.
Well put, Quirky Fox.
There are significant male/female differences. We are animals. In that kingdom, females are pursued, but they get to choose. Before a female selects a male to grant mating privileges to, she treats the likely candidate poorly to make sure he thinks she is worth the trouble to test his genes for tenacity because her offspring will have a better chance for viability that way. After she grants those privileges, she treats that male like a king and treats the other males like poop.
Man, it sounds like you found one who likes to try on shoes, and you were a good enough pair when she was barefoot, but not really the right size for long-term wear apparently.
Oh yeah, and the reason men are by nature less likely to cut off member of the opposite sex after mating than women are is because of an evolutionary biological development referred to in psychology as parental investment. Human female animals carry a baby inside for a long time and then keep it close for a long time after birth. They usually only do this one baby at a time. Men do cannot and do not achieve the same bond with their offspring and they are capable of creating many babies simultaneously. So by nature male human animals are designed to pursue more than one female at a time, but females are not, even though they may have been designed somewhere along the line to mate with more than one male in the same sexual event, thus their greater capacity for easily having multiple orgasms than males.
Just saying.
Humans are not animals; sure, we may have evolved from animals but we developed a higher consciousness and awareness. We have free will and the ability to reflect upon and control our actions and instincts. Comparing humans to animals in the wild is rather irrelevant, especially since what you described does not apply to all men or all women. It’s a cop out to look at beings of lesser intelligence and awareness and say “Oh, because they act this way it makes it natural for humans to be the same.” Not so. Human beings are incredibly complex creatures whose abilities and minds are on a level above the capacity of animals driven primarily by instinct.
Well said ikki, I must say that I am surprised to know that you have learn about it, most people ignore this fact and put a man and a woman to be equals, when they aren’t.
I utterly disagrees with Opacity.
There are strong differences between in men and women. What a woman finds attractive? What a man finds attractive? Which characteristics? At what level we can change that by education?
Opacity said that we are like blank states and we can overcome our instincts to make a reasonable decision. I don’t think I can control the taste of a strew with red meat on it, I will always find it to be delicious. We are highly drivened by our instincts, we can overcome it, but it would be needed a huge amount of effort to do it to change only a few things.
We often watch a documentary about a group of apes fighting between in each other to show dominance and increase the odds to pass on their genes. Are we that different?
Why it is attractive to be muscular as a guy and attractive to be thin as a woman?
What is like to be masculine and what is like to be feminine?
Can you control what you find to be pretty Opacity? Can you cease the function of your vision, to find a pile of mud to be tasteful, to be sexually attracted towards the moon?
When you are wandering on the streets, look at a person and you find that person to be attractive, do you control it? Or it’s just your brain calculating the value of that person in a sexual matter?
Hierarchies will always exists, either sexually or economic speaking, the communists tried to destroy these instincts by trying to abolish the private property and to give 100% sexual freedom, but it’s impossible, it would be needed to deny our nature. Everyone is different, there are people better and worse than us. Some are born like Brad Pitt, others are born a midget.
Do we have a free will? I don’t think so. No one is free, as long we exist, there is no absolute freedom as long we are bond to our body.
There is no such thing as free will and yes, we are animals.
Sorry for the rant.
If we are animals, it is only because we know of no other comparable species. When we look at a highly functioning robot, we compare it to a human. We don’t say “Oh look at that robot, doesn’t it remind you of a monkey?” if it was built in the shape of a human.
What about homosexual, bisexual, or transgender men and women? Their approach to masculinity and femininity especially blurs the line beyond what heterosexuals may typically expect. They may also have no desire whatsoever to procreate. What they want may be simply sex, and/or a companion. Gay men may even find the same things attractive about men as the average woman might, with the exception that they do not see a male as a possible father of their offspring.
I didn’t say we are like blank slates, and our upbringing and surrounding environments throughout life strongly influence our characteristics and decision making. Nonetheless, aside from our base instincts or preferences as you described – we CAN make clear choices. A burger for dinner or pizza? What will it be? Should I go to this party or not? Should I text my ex-girlfriend and ask what she’s up to, even though things are going well with my current girlfriend? And so on. Every day we make many decisions of our own volition, provided we weren’t forced under duress. This is what I meant by ‘free will’.
She wasn’t leading him on, she clearly told him she didn’t want to be in a relationship. He also called her his ‘best friend’ and didn’t hit on her. Where’s the misunderstanding here? There’s none at all, this is just a case of someone “falling in love” with a person who friendzoned them – and made this clear from the beginning.
If someone tells you they only see you as a friend, you should probably believe them and if you don’t want to invest time and emotional energy in a person you have feelings for who doesn’t reciprocate, it’s probably best to go your separate ways. You’re only hurting yourself if you want to feel bitter that they chose someone else to date instead of you. A relationship only works if both parties share chemistry with each other.
@OP this sucks, but like another person mentioned it’s pretty much impossible to have close friends of the opposite gender when you’re in a relationship (as it causes lots of drama). I’m sure she did care about you but it’s not easy to spend time around someone who has a crush on you when you know you’re not in to them that way, and if she has a boyfriend now she wants to focus on him.
Bottom line – maybe try not to become besties with someone you’re attracted to, unless you know they feel the same way about you.
Yep.
Even if you are s screw up,I am too
Women are really hard to understand. I mean right now, I’m in a situation where I feel uncomfortable with a close friend of mine. I’m kinda getting tired of him.
Girls sometimes just need their time. We need space. We try to be good at everything so it’s hard for us to fill each and every role.
I think that maybe since she had some problems she felt insecure. She was probably aware of your feelings for her but girls sometimes ignore those feelings so the friendship doesn’t get ruined. Instead, she started to notice that guy and she started to realize that he noticed her too. It sounds like she had/ has low self-esteem and when a guy starts to notice a girl it boosts up their self-esteem one way or another.
Maybe since you understand what she was going through she didn’t feel the same way. I can’t explain it.
I did not mean to upset anyone. I realize when I was posting a comment and mentioned shoes that I seemed to be ignoring the fact that helloforever123 had selected the friend zone. And I think the perspectives regarding that fact alone by QuirkyFox, Opacity, and justanothergirl109 are astute and insightful, and articulately stated, better than I could–not to mentioned typed more neatly.
But we are technically animals, or classified as such in biology. Homo sapiens (humans) are in the kingdom Animalia and the class Mammalia. Regarding the statement, “Comparing humans to animals in the wild is rather irrelevant, especially since what you described does not apply to all men or all women.” I do not think it does either, but there is a field of psychology called comparative psychology, which studies the similarities in behavior and mental processes between and humans and non-human animals. I do not think you can earn a psychology degree without taking courses in comparative psychology.
Anyway, I am sorry if I bothered anyone. I prefer equality between women and men. I did not mean to pick a fight or put a fence between girls and girls. I was just mentioning some things I thought were sort of pertinent to the discussion. What do I know?
I mean between girls and guys. Sorry. 🙂