In conversation, I constantly have to guess what emotion I’m supposed to feel, then try to act it out as best I can. I’m very afraid of being discovered in my callousness and indifference. When something bad happens, it’s scary to think that someone might find out how little I feel for others in their misfortune. Joy, of course, is completely absent.
When others are feeling emotion it seems like a curious and alien thing to me now. It’s like watching someone perform a physical feat of strength that I’ll never be able to do. I used to feel emotion in a normal way, but I can’t even remember what it’s like now. Anyone else going through this? I keep hoping it might be cured by sleep, but it’s possible I’m just a broken machine.