Anybody who has wanted to die and still lives deserves respect – of course we all know society doesn’t grant respect where it’s due, since depression is treated as a mental illness, and it’s victims as unstable, and disturbed. But the people I know/have known who’ve had serious difficulty with depression, also happen to be some of the most sensitive, genuine, and misunderstood people I’ve ever encountered. What I like most about them, and about all of us on this website, and even about myself I suppose, is that when we’re hit hard and fall, we can pick ourselves back up.
I even respect anyone who takes the final step and ends their life, because it requires courage, and an independence of mind, which the majority of people in this world couldn’t begin to understand. But I still encourage the decision to live, and to search for the strength to get back up. I know sometimes the future looks black, and I understand why death might seem like the best option. But I don’t think anyone is broken beyond repair. You’re either dead or you’re living. You can crawl into your bed and cry, you can cut your arm and wish to die, but you’re still alive. You’re stuck in this world, at least for a while.
Life is unfair, things never go your way, it feels like you’re swimming against the tide, you feel unlucky, you feel like you’re being punished for just being you. The sinking feeling never goes away, it will always be pulling you downwards. The best hope for you now is to accept the burden you carry, even when it crushes down on your shoulders and forces you to kneel. But you can get back up. And you will fall again. And you can get back up. It seems like endless misery, but it will only get easier if you find the will to push forward. Closer towards the light, never really getting there, but leaving the darkness behind you, one step at a time.
If life feels like you’re enemy, fight it. Because it doesn’t pity you, it will never help you, and nobody else will either, not permanently. You’re on your own, so keep losing or start to fight.