Friday night I was really lonely and texted everyone I know who goes to my college to find someone to hang out with, or even just to come outside for a little bit to have a cigarette. It wasn’t that late, around 11, and not one of the 10 people I texted wanted to or could. Then one friend texts back and invites me to his friends. We just played pong and drank beers all night, and eventually my friend went home; his other friend was going to walk me home because it’s not a good area to walk around alone. It’s around 2am, his friend is ready to leave, and I wasn’t tired, asked the guy who lived there what he was going to be doing, and asked if he wanted to hang out as friends, being I don’t sleep with people. I’m straight up about it. He agreed, he was just going to be drinking beer all night, so we hung out. Sniffed two addies each, pretty drunk on beer, we just sat outside, smoked cigarettes and had deep heart-to-hearts all night. Completely innocent. Adderall sometimes does that, makes me open up, as well as him, so we talked about everything. I even talked about my cutting and eating disorders, about suicide. It was nice, I thought I had a friend. He made me promise I would never cut myself again and to call him if I ever felt like it, and that we’re friends now. We went to play some xBox and around 9am he fell asleep. We were laying in bed together and that was it. Nothing happened more than him kissing my scars making me promise I’d never do it again. It was innocent and completely in a caring way, nothing romantic at all. He talked about this girl all night; he’s 23, and they’ve been dating on and off since they were 17. I fell asleep for about a half hour that morning and this girl comes barging in his room. Turns out it was his not-with-at-the-time girlfriend who was clearly pissed and just stormed off. I begged him to unlock his phone so I could call her and tell her nothing happened or anything, but he was so out of it after drinking beer all day and night and the adderall crash, so I walked back to campus to go to work. My friend that originally invited me over asked if I stayed the night at his friend’s house, I said yes, he asked if I slept with him, I said no, and he says his girlfriend is pissed. I said no we drank beer all night and just stayed up and talked, nothing happened, if you want you can give me her number so I can call her and explain. I planned on telling her a bit of what I told him to explain it better and how he talked about her a lot, but my friend said he’d just handle it. I really thought this guy was my new friend, something I have trouble finding at college. I texted him last night asking is everything was okay with his girlfriend. He never answered, so I guess I didn’t have a friend in him. I rarely open up to anyone, but when I do, it’s the shitty people who leave, who pretend to care and be nice.