Hurry June

It’s weird I usually never even leave my house and when I do and when I get to see people that I used to know I feel so useless. I really didn’t want to go to this family event today but I thought that someone who I actually care about was going to be there. 12 hours wasted. I even got offered a beer and if my mother wasn’t standing right there I would have fucking accepted because I was so stressed out just by being there. I kept to myself and tried not to say much because I had nothing useful to say. I had to witness my parents act all googly eyed over their “grandbabies” (not even related to my father they’re both of my half siblings kids) yet they don’t give a single fuck about their own kids. (Besides my half sisters ofc) and they probably won’t give a shit when about their “grandbabies that I’m honored to be a grandma to” once they can start speaking and when they’re teenagers. My father does it to look good, he used to play with me at family events when I was little. But never when no one was watching. My mother and father actually like my mother’s daughters though so hopefully they’ll *really* like their grandkids–I really do hope that’s the case. Some people attempted to talk to me but I kept the conversation dry and short. Someone brought up school and that’s when I wanted to just start walking home… that’s the last thing I want to talk about. I knew this day would suck because I regretted going before I even went. The only thing that was alright about today was that it was raining heavily every 10 minutes and I love the rain.That’s the last time that a LOT of people are going to see me ever and the last time I’ll ever see a lot of them. June is near…