it’s the worst when your problem isn’t from your mind but it exists in front of you and changes your mind. not much i can do to change it without killing myself. i could wait though and see what happens. sucks to know that you’d be better off dead because there’s nothing worth living for except for being hopeless. i’m probably lucky that i got depressed right at the start of summer vacation, that takes some things off my mind. maybe being depressed wont be as bad as the last time. not sure what i need now to get out of this, already talked with a therapist, but still doesn’t get rid of my problem. i’ll probably be dead by the end of summer and i’m ok with that.