I don’t mean shit in this world. Being trans is only for the skinny and straight ones who will quickly change and pass and be accepted by women. Someone fat and ugly like me will always be judged by what’s on the outside and never have a chance in hell at love with a man. It’s useless for me to be so fat and ugly that no man will give me a chance. Transition or passing won’t change anything because only straight men are into my kind of music and the things I like. I’ve never had a chance in hell being born female and so fucking ugly. I really just want to be dead when I see someone that I love complain about being single and how no one wants him when he’s all I think about. I’m too old for this shit, to live in this kind of pain and feel embarrassed to be alive when I’m obviously not wanted in this world. I can’t wait to get the money that I need to die. I’m almost 40 with no significant or long term relationships, never been loved and can’t be loved because all that matters is what you look like.