I don’t even know

I didn’t see any age restrictions so, I turn sixteen in a month. I promised myself when I turned fifteen that I wouldn’t live to be sixteen, that I had to kill myself before that. But I am a coward, so I just pray every single day to God to just let me die. Car accident, burglary-gone-wrong, give me cancer for fucks sake. But nothing. I’m still here for some reason, maybe. I don’t even know why I’m posting here, I just got bored and decided to ask Google why I was still alive. It didn’t give me an answer, but I found this site. I don’t know. Personally, I believe I am mentally insane and that I need to be institutionalized before I drop a chip on the floor and decide to stab someone for it. I don’t like being around people at all, especially my family. I can tolerate my family for longer periods of time, but I prefer the company of strangers for short periods of time. Uhhhhhh. I do online school when I actually feel like doing it which is never. Since I do online school I don’t have a sleep schedule, but I prefer to go to sleep at around noon and wake up around whenever, so long as no one in the house is awake. I argue with myself  in my head for hours at a time. I don’t even know why I am doing this…