Im done. I just dont have the courage to end it and it frustrates me. I am just numb to the world and every day that passes just makes me feel less human and more numb. I am lonely but seem stuck this way as i seem unable to connect to anyone even at the most basic level. Socializing seems so foreign, it feels fake. I am tired. I was raised catholic and any faith i had has long since eroded. I wish it were just this one thing but it is not. It is a million tiny little things that just tells me i was never meant to be here. I guess the divine stops listening the second you ask him to please kill you in your sleep.
I wish there was a place i could go to just have it end. A place you show up, they book you a room, give you a drug, you go to sleep and never wake up. They ship your remains back to your family with a note written by yourself explaining everything. It should just be easier than this to choose to leave this world. At the very least it should be a personal choice without the noise of people, government or anyone else. Let the people who want to stay inherit this world have it, let me choose to go.
If it were only that easy.