Why isn’t there a way to pause life and take some time to actually breathe? I’ve begged my mom so many times if i could stay home for just one day to take a break from it all, but she just laughed and said that i cant just pause life when i feel like it. She doesn’t see that everything is weighing down on me, each day is worse. these thoughts pile on top of me, making it to where its impossible not to notice them. I used to be able to block them out and act like they’re not there, they were like overdue homework assignments; i knew that they were there but i never really cared. But now they’re more like monsters creeping behind me with every step i take. They attack whenever they get the chance. sometimes one at a time, or maybe in a group, but sometimes they attack all at once.The thoughts hold me down and tear me apart. i cant ignore them when they destroy every happy moment I’ve ever had, or when they get so loud that the only thing that can get them to stop is if i stop breathing completely. My depression is worse than its ever been, i just want it to stop. it’s like incurable cancer. I’ve tried every treatment in the book, nothing is working. A few of them worked for a few weeks or so, but when it stopped working things were worse than before. I just want these feelings and thoughts to end. i can’t do this anymore.