Above are a few of my older shots repurposed or recycled to make one piece.. Is that what I am? Am I just something that someone forgot about? It’s like whatever put me here found me and decided that I could be used to take everyone’s shit. Have I been repurposed? I used to be proud of who I was.. Not so much now..
A flower destroyed for its fragrance
A singer being forced to dance
A branch broken to cause pain
Water released to go down the drain
All of these things I see today
Make me wish I knew why I was made
I survived such a horrid day
But all I feel is angry and afraid
Dear god,
Does this amuse you?
Am I just some sick game?
I guess I never believed in you
But this really is a shame
9 comments
Is that you on the bottom-left? You look nice.
What is it specifically you’re upset about ?
Yeah. Thanks. I’m actually at work so I don’t have a lot of time to explain anything. But it’s basically just a lot of depression and anxiety. Constantly feeling inadequate. I write about love a lot, but it really isn’t love that I’m after. Just tired of feeling like I’m not good enough. I’ve never really told anyone my entire story. It isn’t something that I like talking about. But it started with a messy upbringing. That just about sums it up.
I’ve never been in love, and I don’t think I’m even capable of it. I don’t even know what it is. Which is strange, because I am a sucker for The Notebook and Bridges of Madison County.
I can empathise with you on the upbringing. I had to endure a tyrant of a father and a mother who stayed with him and allowed me to be subjected to physical abuse because she prioritised her financial security over her son’s welfare. Then they allowed me to be circumcised (trust me, it’s devastating, despite what American doctors say) when I was a teen for no valid reason–and this ruined my relationships with women.
I don’t believe telling anyone it’ll get better is worthwhile. Only listening and talking can offer some relief, not platitudes.
I really appreciate your time. Every word helps. Its nice to feel like someone can relate. I really hate that you’ve gone through what you have. If you ever need to talk, I’m all ears. Feel free to email me any time. shesaghostnow @ gmail
I enjoyed the pretext, kind of puts you in the right frame of mind before you read it. Course, that goes both ways, means there is less of a puzzle.
I rather enjoyed thinking about all the relationships the first four lines have in themselves, each other and the larger body.
The last few lines had me in a snicker. I hope there is a bit of your humor in there… But I’m worried, it’s more my twisted sense of it.
No no no. That was mixed with a bit of my dry humor. People usually don’t catch it. This wasn’t going to be a poem. The pretext was just the beginning of rambling. This is just what it turned in to. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Well good then. I read it a few times, decided it would be very easy to take and for you to mean completely soberly and seriously. But I always read it as a tad of tongue in cheek, smirky, snickery… (This happened on a few of your works haha)
Hi 🙂 I can tell you need a friend. My email is andrewholstein1@gmail.com
and my kik is Kalmahavak
I hope to be your friend! 😀 and that goes for anyone here that needs a friend, don’t be afraid to message/email me 🙂
Yeah. Lol I do that a lot. Its usually really discrete and subtle. I didn’t think anyone would ever catch on. Good to know someone shares my “twisted” sense of humor.