How do I do this? How do I say the things I want to? My whole life I’ve been told I come second- to everyone and everything else. Not even second, dead last.
I’ll never be good enough for anyone, no matter what.
I’m just a mistake. A failure. I’ve tried so hard, but I’ll never make it. I’m too lazy and stupid and selfish and stubborn.
I’m not a good person, at least not anymore.
People might have called me kind once upon a time, but that’s long since been replaced by ‘cruel’ and ‘arrogant’.
Heck, I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore.
I don’t deserve to live
Everywhere I go I screw up. Everyone I meet learns to resent me.
I’ll never find a job or be able to pay for college. Why should I burden my family any longer?
I’m not saying this to get attention, you can just ignore this if you want.
I just feel like i need to say this. In case I do die, its not their fault.
I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore. I know everything will be so much better without me.
They don’t even need to know I’m dead.
And even if they do find me, it’ll still be better.
They might be sad, sure, but then they’ll see
Its so much better with me gone.
They’ll call me selfish
But it’ll be the last time I’ll hurt them.