I have a 2yr old and 4yr old and I never thought I would be in this place. However I’ve been sick too long now. I’m tired of doctors visits and fighting. 5 days that’s when it started the desire to just disappear. After all one moment of pain for my children can save them from a lifetime of watching their mother die. My husband building more debt and being my babysitter. All I’m becoming now is a pathetic meat sack anyway. So what’s the point. They will blame it on the tumurs in my head and my family will be free from me. There will be a new mom one day. She will be beautiful like I used to be, kind, loving, everything I once was. I just was this to be over. But I just can’t seem to tell them good bye
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I am very sorry to hear about your illness. Maybe it is the type of thing that can get cured with radiation treatment? Then you could live to see your children grow up.
I am so so sorry. Sounds like a horrendous situation. I don’t have a solution just hurt for you.
They have been trying. I’m on so much medication I don’t even know who I am anymore. My 4 yr old cry cause I have bruises from all the blood work and yet his mommy can’t take him to the park anymore. I can’t drive or eat most foods. Most days the migraines make it where I can’t leave my bed. Today he asked mommy are you better yet? What do you say. My husband says I’m having pity parties if I cry. Last night I was told to suck it up after all I’m sick there’s nothing they can do about it so just stop it. I’m a wreck and I’m so lost. There’s no where to turn. This isn’t me anymore. I used to be so pretty. I would dance and sing all the time. I taught 4th grade. I worked out played with my kids. I baked oh how I love to bake and cook. Now I’m just worthless a burden I just don’t understand!!!!!
Toriam. I am fairly new to this site and I just found this post. I hope you’re still checking in on this website. Your words are so painful to read. I really feel for you and relate to your suffering. I too suffer from terrible illness and pain. I know exactly what it is like to have your life stolen. Most importantly I feel your absolute crushing pain when your husband tells you to suck it up and your baby is wondering when you’ll be getting well 🙁 Sending you digital hugs and compassion. Your husband should be treating you and your illness with more respect. I’m very sorry he’s not. This is a place where you can vent, release and cry as much as you need to without judgement. On this site you will find people who truly care and understand your struggle. I hope you are able to find some comfort through us. Mostly I wanted to let you know that you have a safe place to talk and vent. I am a survivor of illness and pain too. It’s been 14 years and 19 operations so far. I’ve learned some neat coping skills and am always looking to learn more. I find I learn most when I speak with other survivors. If you ever want to trade tips or even vent to someone who understands, I’m here 🙂