Not sure how it started, but I lost control last night. I’ve been battling with depression for a long time, only attempted suicide once before. I guess after a lifetime of never feeling good enough, I had a moment of weakness and fell off the wagon. I drank over half a bottle of 100-proof vodka and then downed about 600mg ambien and 20 hydrocodone/acetomenophin (5/325mg) pills. On top of my normal dose of anti-depressants. I have to admit I felt pretty good for a while there, and then passed out somewhere along the way.
I woke up a few hours ago and have been puking almost non-stop. As I type this, I’m fighting the intense nausea. My body has shaking fits like I’m possessed and I feel chilly even though it’s a warm sunny day. Needless to say, I took the day off work. I guess I’m lucky this is the worst that’s happened, given how badly I’m treating my liver. I don’t know what I intended to happen, wasn’t even thinking about it really. I just did it.
Moral of the story. If you aren’t serious about doing it, just don’t. You’ll feel like shit. Even worse than the usual kind of shit.