Sometimes when I mentally torture myself I actually feel God but right now it’s torture because I’m at the exact theatre where I watched a movie with the love of my life. And it was a he. I’m depressed sad angry. Idk anymore. If I died I’d be happy hopefully a better life afterwards. Sometimes I wanna die so bad sometimes I think an think what I could’ve done better. I have a plan that will put me in a place where I can no longer hurt anyone. There’s no God no Jesus Christ. Only a devil who lives to torture us. I’ve revoked my faith. But enough about that.
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I don’t think there is a devil if there is no god. Think of it like; there could be no hate without love like there could be no dark without light. Even though there is a devil that lives inside of use there has to be an angel trying to fight off the demons. Like yin-yang if that makes sense. I don’t know why you are sad, depressed, and angry. I do understand what it is like to torture one’s self. I also understand what it is like to want to die. I don’t think you would be happy if you died. If you believe in no god then there would be no heaven. If you think there’s only the devil then there is only hell. If you truly have no religious belief than when you die there will be… nothing. These are the reasons I haven’t killed myself yet