Sometimes when I mentally torture myself I actually feel God but right now it’s torture because I’m at the exact theatre where I watched a movie with the love of my life. And it was a he. I’m depressed sad angry. Idk anymore. If I died I’d be happy hopefully a better life afterwards. Sometimes I wanna die so bad sometimes I think an think what I could’ve done better. I have a plan that will put me in a place where I can no longer hurt anyone. There’s no God no Jesus Christ. Only a devil who lives to torture us. I’ve revoked my faith. But enough about that.