3Hey I just have to get some things off of my chest… sometimes I just can’t go to sleep not telling anybody how I feel… I know it sounds pathetic but I love my mother altough I stopped calling her that. She is the person who hates me as much as I hate myself. Sometimes I think she is the reason why I feel so bad all the time. When I was younger she was quiet abusive. She also took drugs like I do but she was able to quit or she just doesn’t want to tell me anymore. I hate her but at the same moment I’d give my life for her. The only (besides the alcohol usw.) thing that keeps me alive is my brother, his girlfriend and their little daughter they are a family for me. They mean a lot to me but sometimes it’s not enough. Like today. The suns getting up again guess I should go to sleep now. Small reasons are also reasons and as long as the keep you alive it’s good isn’t it?