What point is there? As I get older, everyone splits off into couples and I sit here like a fucking lonely moron. I don’t want to date anyone, I want to be surrounded by my “friends” who can’t wait to ditch you every chance they get for a significant other (or simply someone better). I’ve been off my mood stabilizers and antidepressants for about 3 weeks now, but I’m thinking of starting up my mood stabilizers again because it is unbearable to deal with this constant fucking oscillating range of emotions. I think I’ll just submerge myself in as many drugs and mind alternating substances as possible. At least then my life will have a purpose, and I’ve always wanted to kill myself when I felt on top of the world. It’s so fucking lonely and I realize I only have myself now. I am so filled with hate hate hate for everything, everyone, and myself. Have I been kicked out of my friend group because of who I am as a person, or due to things not having to do with me other than no one making time for me or wanting to chill anymore?
I was almost happy before it all fell apart, why would I be so dumb?