I haven’t lost him but he’s no loner mine, and that kills me. Out of all the people I have loved, envied and lost, he has made me cry more than any of them. The past week or so had been rough, quiet, vague. Then out of the blue he talks, blames me for what I’ve done, what can I say, he’s right. He doesn’t feel the same, of course he doesn’t. He gets over things so quickly. He still cares, but not the same way. He left because I was a shitty person and I hate myself for that. He won’t dare say it but we both know it. I was and still am too naïve and open and that ruined everything. Or maybe I just wasn’t good enough. I mean, I can hardly compete. He’s the smartest person I know, so out of my league, gorgeous; physically and his mind is too. God his mind is beautiful. He doesn’t give a shit about anything that doesn’t matter, yet cares so much for the things that do. He’s always a ten, I envy that. We were awesome, that’s what we’d always say. Whenever asked what was the deal with us or what we were, we would just we’re awesome because we are.
What happened
I tried to fight for him, pathetically told him ‘please don’t leave me’. He just absently told me that I sounded desperate and I was more than that. I’m angry because I can’t get mad at him. He’s right. There is so much logic in him.
He’s always so god damn right
2 comments
Picking yourself up will be hell, but you can do it. Give it time. Love was meant to be lost. Hearts were made to be broken. We rebuild and we get stronger no matter how difficult that may be. Best of luck to you.
We’re in the same situation as I’m also going through a breakup with my fiancée who in the end also didn’t care. I was suicidal but then think of your family, and also your friends who will be hurt and blame themselves ultimately for what you’ve done. And don’t do this over that one person. Time heals all wounds. Deal with your grief over a certain time period, and after that tell yourself no more.