People say ‘just give it time, hang in there’ etc but what’s the point? It’s just more time to decompose, for your mind to deteriorate.
10 years ago someone said to me ‘you’re on the cusp of a really great relationship’, now that person is married and I haven’t had one relationship since. If that’s not a sign to slice your throat and let the blood pour out until you’re gone I don’t know what is.
None of my ‘friends’ talk to me anymore, or invite me anywhere, I never go out anywhere. When I texted everyone that I was changing my phone number no one responded. I want to die so much. I don’t know why I haven’t killed myself yet.
My friends want me to kill myself, the world wants me to kill myself, so why shouldn’t I want to kill myself? I’m so ugly. No one’s ever going to love me. All of my ‘friends’ are married and I haven’t been in a relationship since high school.
I’m going to start cutting again, but I won’t hide it. I’ll cut everywhere, even on my face, on my arms, everywhere. I’ll keep cutting until one day I can finally just cut deep enough to let everything out so I won’t be alive anymore, and then it’ll all be gone.
I don’t know what I did to deserve all of this, but I’m sorry.