I know this is going to sound crazy/weird…..
I literally hate myself. I am a guy, 35 years of age, yet I have missed out on so many great things in life. As a child, and even today, I cannot bear to walk around without a shirt on etc. It has made me become anti social, because I feel I am so ugly I don’t deserve anyone to like me. Yes I am still single because of this, and have no confidence in myself what so ever. I fail at everything I do, get laughed at lot when I make a mistake, so now I never go out. I am always hitting myself (ever since I was a kid) because I am so ugly. I hated the fact that when I was a kid, all the other kids my age had great bodies, no hair on their back, and care free, and I wish I could be like them. I blame myself because I was born ugly. Even today, guys my age look great, and walk around on beaches shirtless and I can see they really enjoy life. I have never enjoyed life. I even hate it when someone wants to hug me, I mean I am ugly, why would someone want to touch me. My life today consist of going to work, and then spending the nights and weekends locked up in my house to scared to face the world. Everyday I am wondering why am I here, for what. What am I supposed to do with my life. I have tried committing suicide plenty times, yet here I still am. Why am I being punished like this. Why was I not born with confidence and fun in me? So this weekend I really want to end because I can’t carry on anymore.