hes a mean kid

my ex came back into my life. She told me the biggest load of bullshit and that we need to stop talking, then 2 months later she texts me about how she cried cause she missed me. WHat the fuck. HOW’re you gonna lie to me, then tell then come back 2 months later. I tried so hard to bring back the relationship but she just ignored me. I brought her back of course, she’s like the only person i think ever cared about me, About my well being. Shes the only person on earth who knows im suicidal. She’s the main reason i wanna do it. Not because i cant have her, but just because she makes me feel like such a piece of shit. She sings, plays soccer, plays guitar, writes short stories, song, poems, draws. Then what do i do? nothing. i dont play sports, im terrible, i tried to play piano but i got frustrated. i’m a skinny lookin kid, with way too much acne. I’m a nobody, and she makes me feel like the biggest nobody on earth. Like the biggest waste of space. WHy did god curse me?how is it fair he gives everyone a talent and i have nothing. WHy does he bless people with intelligence and not me. Why does he bless people with abs. They did nothing to deserve them, they just have them, why couldnt i been that guy? “God is a mean kid with a magnifying glass on an ant hill” That line comes from a funny movie but its so true. God loves to watch me squirm.