I’m tired. Nobody cares, and nobody cares on here most of the time, either. Social media is shit but then again so is life. At least I pour this out. I go to bed and can only sleep now with pills. The internet is as sick a place as the real world, in fact I think it is sicker b/c peoples’ real selves pour out. Lots of toxic crazies in the world, hiding behind their masks, here they don’t have to hide. The 21st century is one barbaric age despite all of our so-called advances. Technology is being used to do things like film “revenge porn”. We know too much thanks to all of the information overload.
I go to bed depressed and wake up even more depressed. Nobody cared about me at the judgmental full of shit church and in fact I saw an interesting article about why people are leaving churches that fit my situation to a T. I even emailed a woman pouring out my heart who ignored me, the same woman I called to ask why aren’t you coming to church. I worry about the poisons in the planet and in these seemingly harmless meds. I’ve been saying a novena to get rid of the evil whispering spirits that torment me b/c I’m isolated. I question God know but always did. Nobody cares about me unless I remind them I’m around, and even then I don’t think they really care about me. They don’t need to. Forgotten people are just that, forgotten.
I’m going to my church anyway today to fuck them all take the Eucharist to give me strength to keep going. My life has beaten me down to the ground and I can’t do it anymore. Nobody fucking gives a shit and nobody can do anything but judge you or tell you that what they would do is what you should do. I am fucking done with the horror show of this world and of csa, but I need to know someone cares before I kill myself. Since nobody has stepped up to the plate, now I am researching methods. Nobody’s life should be a sick horror ride. Like mine has been. Nothing good on this planet but animals and trees. Humans are filth, toxic waste, scum. I wish the earth would shake us all of tomorrow so it could heal. Give it back to the First Nation people. Let justice reign in this world far beyond the hell too many of us were given.
Humans are scum.