I Don’t Know What To Do Anymore

I’m 16, and I’m going into my senior year of high school in a few months, and I’ve been facing depression for over a year now. I wish I could explain how I really feel, but I don’t think it would make sense. Mostly it’s the fact that I have high-achieving dreams. Like, the kind of dreams where it takes a one in a million chance to actually accomplish them. And I’ve convinced myself that I’m not going to achieve anything in life and I’ll just be bored and miserable the entire time. As if I’m convinced that without these dreams, I won’t be happy, and I don’t see the purpose of living a life you’re not happy with. I feel like a complete waste of space. There are people I know who say that they’re there for me, but I don’t believe them. I feel like they talk about me behind my back. What sucks I have no reason to think that, I just do. I feel like everyone who’s said that they’re my friend laugh at me as soon as I’m done talking to them. I have a shitty family life right now too. There’s a move coming, and I’m not allowed to see my older brother anymore because of a feud him and my parents have, and I love him. He has been one of the only people I feel like I really can talk to about anything, I now I’m not even allowed to see him. I went to therapy for a few months, and nothing seemed to change. Maybe it was because I couldn’t stand my therapist, but it felt like talking to her was a complete waste of time. I’m sorry if this is long to read, but I’m just trying to explain my situation in the clearest way possible. I joined this site just today because I need people who can give me advice, because I don’t know whether or not I should commit suicide, or find something positive in life to look towards, even though I don’t see anything as of now. Please help me. Anyone. Thank you.