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I Want to go ‘Home’…Whatever that Means

by LooneyLou

I just don’t want to be here anymore. I want to close my eyes and wake up far away from here. I want the ocean to roar around me with every wave, as I watch them crawl up the sandy shore. I want to be in a dark hole in the ground. I want to have a place to hide, a door to shut, a place where no one can ever make me feel this way. I want things to just stop and go away, I can’t take it anymore. I’ve been so nice, and accommodating, but people still say I’m a ***** even though I’ve sacrificed so much for them. I raised my mother’s other children, and cleaned up her messes, hiding them under the metaphorical rug when I didn’t have enough time, and yet she hates me. I am respectful, I lend money, I get good grades, I graduated, I don’t make trouble, I keep to myself, but provide lively conversation when appropriate, I hide peoples’ secrets on top of my own and I can’t hold them anymore. Atlas was strong enough to hold the world on his shoulders, but I can’t even hold my family. Make it go away.

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xpressure 6/21/2015 - 1:27 am

Exactly what I feel.

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