I haven’t been posting much lately because I have too much to rant about and nobody needs to hear that shit. So.. have some ramblings.
im living on a grain of sand. If i make the wrong move, I’ll fall off. It’s so desolate and dry. I just want to turn it into a pearl. I need to break. I need to collapse and break things. I need to scream and put my fist through a wall. On the inside, i’m losing control, but they still seem to think i have my life together. In their eyes, im confident. In their eyes, I’m strong and focused. In reality, I’m a mess. I’m just the calm before an ungodly storm. It’s just a matter of time before the pressure gets the best of me. 14 days. two weeks until I leave. its only for a few days, but it is an escape none the less. I need to get away and clear my head. I need to focus my energies. after all… all we are is energy. we are matter held together by energy. we are not our bodies. we are the mark that we make on this world. I havent exactly made a positive impact. maybe its time for that to change. maybe if i change my mark, i can change my situation. i dont know. thats stupid. i guess its worth a shot.