Ive started hearing voices again at night, without any real cause. They whisper my name and other little things to hushed to really make out. Its still taunting though, always enough to catch my attention and startle me. I really hate it. It makes me question what reality is, whose really there…I know its all in my head but its so hard to ignore. So hard to push away.
They keep trying to get me to do things. I cant function anymore…i cant be social anymore. I hate even stepping out of the house. I dont even feel safe when i sleep. What is actual sleep feel like. In honest, a good night’s rest.
What does that feel like?
This shit is getting too tiring and people are getting sick or dying around me. Ive lost so many and the number just keeps going up but all i can do is feel bitter envy.
Why arent i the one whose sick?
Why am i not dying of some sort of out of control disease besides whats going on in my head…
Why cant i eat their cancer and take it for myself..
I feel like i need sleep.