Ever since I was little I’ve always wanted to be an artist. An artist who could draw anything or anyone if I set my mind to it. I would always fantasize what It’d be like to be one of those ‘famous artists’ who people look up to (no one has ever looked up to me for anything and when people have ill tell you it’s a real honor). But it’s been years now and my art skills are starting to lack more than it ever has before.
Every time I come across an amazing drawing I start to feel angry and sad.. wondering why my art skills aren’t good enough to be on that level. And then I come across people who are a lot younger than I am and my chest just tightens. I get the thought that my art at that age was never like that.. And I feel like a failure.
My dream, my passion is crumbling right in front of me because I feel jealous and I feel like I’m a failure. I honestly want to give up but I don’t because I’ve felt so passionate about the subject and I feel like I can get a real job out of it. A job that I would enjoy..
But my mom thinks otherwise about this. She thinks it’s a waste of time, she thinks I’ll never find a job and I’ll be one of those ‘hungry artists’, she thinks I draw ‘bloody creatures’ (in which I do not! I can promise you that) all the time. She always asks “why can’t you draw nice things?” Or “why can’t you draw rabbits?”. My parents are never really impressed with my skills and when they are, they expect me to draw something they like… I feel at a loss and I feel like this dream of mine is going to slip through my finger tips real quick if I don’t do something.
I don’t want to lose this last piece of hope that I’ve held onto all these years.