paranoia

I just want to die. Like wouldn’t it be easier? My image of death is black. Like nothing. The end. No more, nothing more. I don’t know. I don’t like this. Life isn’t a choice. Primarily atleast. People make you. Your parents. But death can also be a choice. So why is it taboo? Like wtf is the point of life even..? There are things I love. But if i fade to black none of it would matter anymore.
Idk. I have a lot on my mind and I’m half drunk, I’m sorry. Just some thoughts/diarrhea of the mouth.