perfect?

i’m so sick of this bullshit.

when there are many people around, they say that they’re so proud of me, that they’re lucky to have me as their daughter.

meanwhile at home, they just yell at me about how a disgrace i am to the family.

everything i do is for them, even just studying, even living.

they don’t believe in suicide, they tell me that people who commited suicide were just tempted by the devil.

but what they don’t know is that their own daughter is too.

i’ve been the salutatorian ever since i began studying. i’ve been the editor-in-chief of our school newsletter. i always join contests, but never won the first place.

aren’t those enough?

what do they want more? do they want me to graduate as the valedictorian so they could be contented with their only daughter? do they want me to become the editor-in-chief of a famous newspaper so they would be proud of me? do they want me to win every single contest i join so they could finally tell everybody how good i am?

yes, i am basically addicted to the internet and they treat me like an abnormal person because of that. don’t they know that almost everybody is? that i’m not the only teen who is?

yes, i often lie. but who doesn’t?

yes, i am lazy, whenever it’s weekends i don’t study, and i don’t always study whenebut, isn’t being an honor student enough proof to show that lazy persons don’t always fail, that sometimes they succeed too?

they blame themselves for not trying hard enough to mold me as a person they always wanted to raise, a perfect person.

they blame themselves for raising a monster.

but, do perfect persons exist?