I mean i’ ve never done this before,”speak in public”. The only thing i ve ever said in public was a druken “just stitch me up and let me go home,i need some sleep”. Yes i attemped a suicide 2 years ago only to find out that i was far more messed up than i thought. I will spare you the details.
This is more of a desperate move, i actually don’t want to talk, but the whole idea,and site which i found looking for the right,or wrong, dose of sleeping pills,distacted me so… I have gone really far since then. I got into a relationship,a healthy one. The classes eeehh…i could do better,or ..just,well dunno. Self harming in any way has either completelly gone, or transferred (tattoos are doing a great job). But why is that shit still in me? I still wake up, eat, have sex, go to bed with the same selfish thought. I WANT ME DEAD. I need this fucked up mind,lifeless. This physicaly destroyed body,smashed. 4 years of medical care,the damn pills only caused me weight issues.
Oh well. Fuck it. I go to bed.
Sorry for my english.