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the question of confidence

by RealTalk30

We all gotta do something to raise our own confidence because the lack there of is purely our minds own doing. Some distract themselves, some eat, some play dress up and some crave attention.. well that last one is me. My confidence is in constant flux..always in tune one minute and gone the next minute. Sometimes I really give no shit that I do things purposely to gain attention. One thing my confidence never shatters is certainty in my physical appearance. I feel that I am half gone in my sanity but still a decent looking dude. So I’ve decided to sit pool side for the first time in years, and let all the girls oogle over me. Hopefully I can make a friend or two but really I’m just doing it to raise my self esteem. I really don’t give a fuck even if it’s a slightly shameful act. It’s what I need today.


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Randall 6/12/2015 - 5:11 pm

Hmm. Self worth, self confidence, self hate, self hurting all those self things are probably the reason everyone comes here. Ya, do whatever ya gotta do. If ya got it, flaunt it.

RealTalk30 6/12/2015 - 5:40 pm

So far only one cutie has graced the pool area. Still waiting for more to show up

RealTalk30 6/12/2015 - 7:25 pm

Well that was a big fail.. I’m all sun baked and while I was out there.. some kids were playing with their parents.. one mother told her little boy not to go in the hot tub (where I was lounging) because it’s gross… she gave me a nasty ***** look. I just got up and left. Fucking *****.. your kids are pissing in the pool and you don’t hear me complaining. No need to make me feel like I’m the dirty one.. ya dirty hoe!! She could have just told him no and left it at that.
I was getting the vibe that people wanted the pool area to themselves. No cute girls
I feel alienated now

Major back fire today

Raymond 6/12/2015 - 8:51 pm

Damn man, well she’s just pissed you look better than the father of her kids, haha. Keep it up RT. I’m having a weird fuckin day myself. Emotions all outta whack all over the place. Got a lot of writing done though. That’s good I guess. I felt regression today hardcore though. Ah well, it’s only 6PM here. Still got some sun here left. Tomorrow is Saturday and I still got some money in the bank so it ain’t too bad, man. Thanks to Salt of course I had a grand meal tonight. Aside from my anxieties about this coming week – I ain’t too bad.

RealTalk30 6/12/2015 - 9:20 pm

I’m in the theatre now..

Chicks errywhere…


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