the question of confidence

We all gotta do something to raise our own confidence because the lack there of is purely our minds own doing. Some distract themselves, some eat, some play dress up and some crave attention.. well that last one is me. My confidence is in constant flux..always in tune one minute and gone the next minute. Sometimes I really give no shit that I do things purposely to gain attention. One thing my confidence never shatters is certainty in my physical appearance. I feel that I am half gone in my sanity but still a decent looking dude. So I’ve decided to sit pool side for the first time in years, and let all the girls oogle over me. Hopefully I can make a friend or two but really I’m just doing it to raise my self esteem. I really don’t give a fuck even if it’s a slightly shameful act. It’s what I need today.