What it was like

I used to think that I would always be happy… Well that was until my dad died last year in August. Since then I haven’t felt there was a purpose in life, like there is just nothing left anymore… I started doing things that even I felt was not right like planing my death with millions of different ways, but I wasn’t even realising I was doing it… Which really thrightened me, I though I was going mental. I booked an appointment with the doctors as I was so scared of what I would do to myself, they gave me some medication which really helped and I started to get better, I’m learning to cope with these obstacles in life and I don’t want to kill myself much anymore… But I’m still left feeling worthless and the more I want people to help me the less I want to tell them incase they judge me, I just feel so trapped in the same cycle and I’m screaming trying to get out but no one will help me, I’m just left there, it’s just endless