I have seen a fair amount of television drama and inspirational quotes about humans’ reason for existence. They always go on and on about how it will come to you and you just have to wait and most of the time the answer to your being is to find your one true love (which is really stupid, having to exist because of some stranger you cannot help but produce oxytocin to).
I lived a carefree and, at the same time, tedious childhood. I’ve try to commit suicide in already different ways since I was seven. Most of the time, I was too coward to go through it.
Since I was a child, death has been a topic too intimate than it should have been. Death as an end, death as the exit, death as a reprieve. I was much aware of this problem since then.
What is it that is stopping me from dying?
My family have each other.
My friends have other friends.
I have no lovers to speak of. Never had, never will.
I have no goal, no dreams, no ambition to motivate me to wake up tomorrow and live.
What am I still living for?
What is yours?
When you think about it, isn’t it easier to just dropped everything and leave? To never look back, to never suffer again.
Won’t it be a relief to just die?
(No judgement, no concerns, no needs to satisfy. Just nothing)