I’ve thought about killing myself almost daily since I was 12 years old. I am now 25. My plan/methods became more refined as I got older until I reached a detailed, effective plan. I feel as though I am marching inexorably towards my suicide, even if there is still a very small part of me that doesn’t really want to die. Every time that little part gets drowned out by the suicidal thoughts, I seize the opportunity to purchase another piece of equipment or put another affair in order. Everything is almost ready.
How do I know when it’s time to go?
While I’m at it, in support of that tiny piece that wants to stick around, how do you know when it’s really a crisis? I’ve been suicidal for so long that I don’t think I would seek help at the point when I decided to follow through with my plan, but I can’t stay in the hospital forever either.