I’ve thought about killing myself almost daily since I was 12 years old. I am now 25. My plan/methods became more refined as I got older until I reached a detailed, effective plan. I feel as though I am marching inexorably towards my suicide, even if there is still a very small part of me that doesn’t really want to die. Every time that little part gets drowned out by the suicidal thoughts, I seize the opportunity to purchase another piece of equipment or put another affair in order. Everything is almost ready.
How do I know when it’s time to go?
While I’m at it, in support of that tiny piece that wants to stick around, how do you know when it’s really a crisis? I’ve been suicidal for so long that I don’t think I would seek help at the point when I decided to follow through with my plan, but I can’t stay in the hospital forever either.
2 comments
Think really hard. Do you wish to kill yourself to relieve the world from yourself, or is it because you can’t stand the world? If the first one, don’t be that person. You are the most important person on planet earth. NEVER kill yourself if you think you’re worthless. You’re not.
It is time to go whenever you say so. That is something only you can decide. Just like when you went ahead and bought a piece of equipment. It was your own decision. You will know when it is the right time.