12pm thoughts (Suicide note prt…)

It’s always late at night that i realize how lonely i am, It’s always at those moments when I want to talk to someone and tell them all about my problems and ask for advice that I realize that i’m alone, really alone. I mean i have what you can call “Friends” they’re amazing i love them and whenever i’m with them i’m always having a good time…But i’m not with them all the time and those times i always past them over thinking. About Love Life Sex Alcohol Depression Death-Lot’s of death.

I reach this spot where i can’t hold it in i want to scream, cry and laugh, i feel everything and nothing at once, i’m going crazy and i can’t do nothing about it. And it scares me how whenever i hit this point i just lay down on my bed and do nothing, i’m not crying not even faking a smile no nothing i’m just there not to exist, not to live just to be there so i just stay and wait, wait until someone call me or someone come and find me and if not i just stay there all day, doing nothing no eating no nothing and at theses moments I ask myself “are you alive are you sure you’re alive” and i have those voices telling me to check, to check if i’m alive. At first i used to ask how but now i know how, one cut two three.. and i bleed bleed bleed to the rest of the world i’m alive but I, I know i’m dead and it’s a matter of time until the wold find it out too.