I’m new to the site and post only when I feel like shit. I’m Tyler, 16 and desperate for someone to talk to. Ever since I can remember, I’ve been extremely shy and have never been able to make friends. The people I associate with at school try to make me feel included, but I don’t have the fuckin balls to ask them anything. I live in a small town in Michigan and I love it, but I need motivation and support at this stage in my life. I applied to a job and my parents are somewhat supportive but from my point of view, they haven’t given me 1 OUNCE of love. I understand there are people on this site that have gone through 10 times worse stuff than I have, but like most here, I’m just empty, needing somebody. Once puberty hit, everything started going downhill. IT’S GONNA GET GRAPHIC SO YOU’VE BEEN WARNED. The first week of summer between 6th and 7th grade, I jacked off for the first time. 4 years later, I still do it twice a day on average because I have had no attention or love in my life. My sister has mood swings from the seizure medicine she takes, so that adds TONS of stress. She gets so fucking mad at little things, and it pisses me off. Jacking off is basically my stress reliever. I hate drugs and alcohol and will probably never use them but I guess this is my drug. Then, to make it worse, I’m only sexually attracted to guys. I have feelings for girls, but I can’t see myself in a long term relationship with a girl. I would love to have a secret relationship with a guy but most of the gay people I know are selfish and ugly. I know that I can’t tell my life story very well and I’m sorry if it’s too graphic, but I am done. I’m sick and tired of me and only me in my life. I’m ready for someone to talk to, someone to give me motivation, someone who’s there when I feel shitty. And my message to all the people on this site going through suicidal thoughts is to find something that makes you happy. A hobby, a song, anything that brings your mood up, even if there is only one thing that makes you happy. I’ve never attempted suicide but I have had SO MANY suicidal thoughts and I just need somebody.
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6 comments
Hey there Tyler, I’m kanis. And yes life is pretty tough and shit isn’t it?
Sibling moodswings are annoying as fuck.
I used to go on different chat sites to talk to tons of people.. And it feels good to have people listen to you.
I wanted to ask what’s your hobby which makes you happy? 🙂
Btw, it’s totally fine if you see yourself with a man.. Long term wise. There will be that one male who won’t be a selfish person like others that you know. So don’t lose hope 🙂
Hi Tyler, I know this isn’t much but we’re all here for you. If you need a friend or just someone that will listen to you, I can be that person. I’m just trying to help you out. I don’t know what you’re going through but I do know what it’s like to feel like shit. Yeah, I’m shy too most of the times. It’s mostly because of my social anxiety and anti-social skills. I may be a year younger than you but it wouldn’t kill to try.
It doesn’t matter how old you are.If you are depressed then you are depressed.
If you need someone to chat with I’m here! I’m a sixteen year old from Australia, and I can say that I understand your situation. Everyone on this site has most likely been through/still going through some really rough stuff, but we’re here to support each other. I hope you find someone soon to give you a hand because honestly this word is harsh. The only advice I could give is to do whatever you feel is right, whither girls of guys are your think. With time your confidence will build and we are still so young, so much other stuff could happen.
Hey, I get what you mean with your parent’s not giving you any love. Trust me. I grew up with asian parents. If you need someone to talk to, or ever feel like venting, feel free to contact me at bloodsacrifice@hotmail.com – don’t judge my email. My sadist friend made it for me and it somehow stuck.