if your ptsd ever got to the point where you constantly heard his voice
or compulsively checked email and fb hoping someone cared enough to say hello
no one had your back, no family
bad memories only self hatred hating everything about yourself and your life
nothing did the trick
and all you saw was terror and homelessness around the corner
if even walking you had panic attacks and felt paranoid
if you felt they would soon come and “take you away”
if you felt you didnt deserve to live
if you had night terrors and heard actual voices, if you couldnt have a real partner
if everything you did was futile and left you more powerless than before
if even having a conversation with people was difficult and you felt afraid
if you felt anyone could smash your boundaries at any time
if you’d never had any justice and if money was a huge reason for many things
if you all looked back on was a trail of blood and tears
why you must be like me
too
and it hurts