Why does my mother care about my brother so much more than me even though he does literally nothing. He got kicked out of college, hasn’t been able to find a job, is planning to get married to a girl just as hopeless as him, and always asks for money. On the other hand, I have been living my entire life trying to prove that I am good enough for her.
Why – even with my 4.5 GPA and a stack of certificates as tall as me, and a room full of first place trophies – I am still not good enough for her to recognise as her own daughter? I have NEVER ONCE heard her introduce me as her daughter, I’m just always introduced as THIS GIRL.
5 comments
Sorry to hear that. But do you really need your mother’s approval that much? Trying saying fuck it, if she doesn’t value you, there must be someone out there who will.
Yeah I agree with Millefeui
just forget about her and go out and live your own life. Be happy with yourself, you don’t need her approval.
I am gonna go with the other commenters on this one. If your mom wants to worry about ur pretty much dead beat brother let her. Who give a crap on what she thinks about you if she refuses to see the wonderful daughter that she has that’s her lost. not yours!
The title says it all. I can say the same thing to you people (westerners), that you should not care so much about the relationship with opposite sex and should go live your life. Yet you do. That’s how cultures work.
I once made a theory that control point of western world is sex while control point of eastern world is social security.
Just remember that parents are ordinary people like you-they’re not gods. They have their own irrational emotions and drives that make them behave the way they do.
Perhaps your mother is intimidated and jealous of your success and she was not as accomplished. Perhaps your loser brother brings out the motherly instinct in her and that’s why she lavishes attention on him. Maybe she feels you’re very independent and don’t need her care and support.
But the others posters are completely right. You need to stop seeking approval from her. You can even have a conversation with her and ask why she treats you this way. My father aided my siblings much more (financially) growing up and I got almost nothing. I’ve always hated him for it and his double-standard, but there’s nothing one can do about it but move on with life.
I’m on my own two feet now and don’t need anyone’s help…though as a teen I could’ve. In the end it just makes you a stronger and better person. Just think about what a train-wreck your brother is and be happy you’re you, not him. He may always be a ‘momma’s boy’ his whole life because he never learned not to depend on his mother.