Given Up

I’ve been hiding my pain for ong time. All these feelings of hatred towards myself, my infinite flaws, and my terrible life. Anyone who does know about it is also aware that I’m not worth their time or effort to help. And they’re right. All I do is hurt people, piss them off, annoy them, let them down, burden them, and plenty more. When I finally successfully kill myself, I will be doing them all a favor. Not one would care, and it would improve their lives immensely. The closest I came to happiness was meeting my best friend, who actually could put a smile on my face and cared. And she did so much for me but in the end, even she learned I wasn’t worth it. She acts like she still cares but she’s made it extremely obvious she doesn’t. I wish I could just die already, but sadly every time I try, I fuck that up too. I hope I get it someday. I don’t want to try to be happy anymore. I’d only be wasting my time.