i have to convince myself that i not trying hard enough and using my chronic illness as an ecuse to give up, not try, and be unhappy. If i dont, my girlfriend who i love dearly will leave me. I cannot talk about my chronic illness, and my attempts to cope with it. I must listen to her vent and say that i dont listen to her, that i dont love her or her son, that im selfish and all that. Its fine. I do use my chronic illness as an excuse. Im not truly trying hard. I was giving up, and saying that “i cant overcome” instead of saying that “i can do anything” I will work harder to be in an upbeat mood, because my selfishness will leave me alone. I will overcome. I can do this. I love her. No more complaining. Also, if she needs to vent and i feel its not fair, i just must deal with it. I must practice my smile as well. If im going to live for others, i must try harder, before they tire of me and my selfishness. can do this.