It’s been so long. Been living with this pain for 3 years. I’ve tried and tried to get better. Yes I’m only 19 but I’m done. I’ve even gone and told a few friends what is going on and nothing I do and nothing they say helps. Lately I’ve hit an all time low I’ve stopped sleeping, started blasting music all night to drown out my thoughts, and then I go and hang out with friends and put on that fake smile and act happy. I’m drowning in my own pain but every time I try to get the guts to kill myself I can’t… because I can’t do that to my friends and family. My older sister can tell I’m hurting or is at least suspicious but I refuse to let her help and tell her I’m fine and no one else in my family knows. I’m done and looking for a way out. Does anyone know how to over power the guilt? If so please tell me that’s all that’s stopping me anymore.