I was feeling pretty suicidal lately,and i cant call or talk to anyone in real life, so i tried emailing the samaritans. Ends with me having an emotional breakdown and shutting them away.
So i decided to try crisis chat instead. *clicks first webpage that popped up* -this service is available in US territories only- No.
*clicks second webpage* -this service requires steady broadband connection- No.
*clicks third webpage*-our operators are currently offline-Urgh.
*clicks fourth webpage*-this service is available in US territories only- ARGHHHHH
*clicks like a hundredth webpage* hey its online! -connects-
Operator:hi, whats your problem?
Me: im depressed for no reason at all, and i want to die
Operator:have you try to talk to any one about your problem?
me: nope. I cant trust anyone.
Operator:well, a cristian counsellor(?) could be reliable.
Me: errrr…im not cristian…wait did i just misclicked into a cristian crisis line or what
Operator:no you didnt misclicked. Jesus called out to you. He will help you. He will lead you. He will yadayadayadayada.
Me:*ok this is akward* erm… thank you…(?)i will try…ok bye. -disconnects-
then the rest of the webpages are either offline, or only available in US.URGH
So that’s it. I guess us asians, non-us citizens, non-believers, can all go and die now. Congratulations.