Today is my 21st birthday … For some this day is a celebration , a time to enjoy with friends and cherrish it ppl that you consider precious and they consider you in the same magnitude…… But for me this day is one were i reflect on the things i am not doing in my life and i should been doing. I reflect on the causes of my loneliness, the will to go forward that seems to be slipping away and unhappiness/depression that i keep in secret , mostly because i have no one to talk to … I see no point in this day, this one of the most painful days for me.i wonder why i made it this far and its because i am clinging to a thread of false hope that i trick myself would manifest itself into reality.Hopefully i can keep tricking myself into believing for one more year ….
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Would it be bad if I said happy birthday, I said it anyway. Do you resent it because its your birth into this world or simply idea of celebration.
I also hate false hope, I have held on to it even knowing it was false expecting different results. I guess its human to think the impossible.
I know many people say it’s useless to say “happy birthday” when you’re unhappy, but I still want to wish you one. I think there is a lot of pressure to accomplish everything when you’re young, but that’s unfair. I’ll be 21 at the end of the year and I always feel depressed about a new age because I’m still stuck in the same situation I was at 13.
In a way, it’s an accomplishment when you reach another year, especially when you suffer from depression, but I understand that doesn’t make it any easier. 🙁