last night, in a desperate and drunken attempt to end my life, I tied extension cords around my neck about 10 times, tightening them, hoping they would cut off blood supply to my corotid artery. Welp, just like last time guess who da fuck showed up? That’s right! My aunt. She just happened to be down in the basement and knocked over something, then went into my room to say she’s sorry. Then she looked at me and removed my blanket to see I had cords tied around my neck. At least she was cool enough not to call the psyche ward. I went up stairs and gave a 2 hour bombastic rant on how life is a sham and I have a CHOICE to opt out.
I still and will always feel this way. Life is a god damn joke. We are all gonna die and I’m smart enough to speed up the inevitable. Someday God damanit!
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I got drunk too and almost succeded. But I failed because my plan was to put a pillow case to cover my face before kicking off the chair. I was drunk and forgot to put the pillow case over my head and only realize after I kicked off the chair. I was fully suspended from the beam in the garage . Somehow I panicked because I didn’t have the pillowcase over my face. I don’t wanna be found with my face all blue and eyes and tongue sticking out my face. So somehow I manage to reach a small paint can and step on it . After that I didn’t feel any pain but end up with a sore throat that lasted for weeks. Fuck , if it wasn’t for that stupid can of paint near by I would have succeeded with a full suspension.