I always ask myself the question, ” Why the fuck am I here?”. I just feel like a cog in a wheel now. I used to have dreams and ideas but the passion for life all faded away. Love, Relationships and all these Babbitt bourgeois ideals don’t appeal to me any more. I was struck with depression in my final semester so I didn’t complete my dissertation which led to dropping out. I started to contemplate suicide from that point on. Part of me wants to stay and fight and the other part is flirting with death. It fucking tears me apart. I hate everything around me. I just want to get out of this place.