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Come, death. I’m ready.

by hogpotter

There’s no walking out. We talked about the fiery deepest pits of hell. But even above here is also a fiery hell.

I don’t need to open the score anymore. I don’t need to study anymore. Or watch the news. Or take up any examination. It won’t make a difference. The end is crystal clear.

When you said my life would be in the dumps, I didn’t think you were serious.

So that is why my mother never put much hope in me. This life is a mess, and no amount of investment will change it.

That house, this house, that room, this room. It’s all the same at all of them. The problem is with this life.

I don’t need anything anymore. I am numb, and I already know what will happen in the future.

Now that I see it coming, time is not so scary after all.

Nothing is worth it. Mine is a pitiful fate. A thousand sorrows plastered together.

I recalled the poem of “You Say It Hurts to Even Swallow”.

It is this life. This life doesn’t deserve you. This life has no meaning. It is crooked, tainted, broken, chapped.


Time out… Need a razor.


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wndozh8er 8/25/2015 - 8:27 am

I wish you the best of luck but I want to know what method your choosing? If your thinking about using a razor your gonna survive man

FrenchyGirl 8/25/2015 - 8:42 am

And if I’m the person on the bridge to give you a smile, will you do that?

Somebody Insignificant 8/25/2015 - 8:43 am

You will get plenty of advice here from people who think they want to die but have never even come close to death and have no idea how much they will value life once theirs is slipping away. A Small cut to an artery is all you need, it don’t hurt and will be painless, you just start feeling very cold and will pass out but as you watch yourself bleeding to death you will soon realise how much value you place on life. If you truly want to die you will let yourself bleed out painlessly. No need to plan for years looking for a painless method, this is painless. If while you are bleeding you start seeing things from a different perspective, you may decide to get yourself to hospital to stop the bleeding. Either way, you get you painless exit or at least you find out for real if you want to die or just talk about it for years.

wndozh8er 8/25/2015 - 9:16 am

What? Are you freaking serious? I don’t mean to be rude but it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that cutting into arteries and bleeding out is going to hurt like a ************! I don’t think I wanna kill myself, I KNOW I will kill my self. There’s a reason people like me never came close to death – because I realize I got one shot at this and want it to be as painless as possible.

wndozh8er 8/25/2015 - 9:17 am

And a small cut? It’s gonna take one giant painful gash! Even that probably won’t work. Btw, I clicked on your blog titled Mikerowdick (as in micro dick) and it keep redirecting me to advertisements.

wndozh8er 8/25/2015 - 9:18 am

I also typed in Mikerowdick on google and got nothing. Your not fucking with us are you? Lol

Somebody Insignificant 8/25/2015 - 9:19 am

I did it, I was almost dead, I know from real life experience not from 7 years research.

Somebody Insignificant 8/25/2015 - 9:20 am
wndozh8er 8/25/2015 - 9:21 am

Sorry if I came off as accusatory. Are you the guy from image shack? I typed in the name and saw a bunch of cutting

wndozh8er 8/25/2015 - 9:21 am

Sorry if I came off as accusatory. Are you the guy from image shack? I typed in the name and saw a bunch of cutting

wndozh8er 8/25/2015 - 9:20 am

Oh stupid me I typed forgot to add the e at the end of Rowe, sorry. But bleeding out is always gonna hurt bad.

FrenchyGirl 8/25/2015 - 9:22 am

It’s not a guy it’s a girl I think, or he has very bad grammar.

Somebody Insignificant 8/25/2015 - 9:23 am

yeh, that my anonymous online name

Somebody Insignificant 8/25/2015 - 9:27 am

You think I am a girl with very bad grammar?

FrenchyGirl 8/25/2015 - 9:38 am


Yes, if it’s you and you supposed to be a man, definitively bad grammar.

“For me, if I could meet my 12 year old self, I would tell HER”.

Except if English language kept for me one of its mystery.

Somebody Insignificant 8/25/2015 - 9:42 am

What are you talking about?

Tristeza 8/25/2015 - 8:51 am

Hogpotter, idk what you’re going to do, but I’m sorry you’re in so much pain. You said you’re numb now… I understand that. Getting numb is like saying goodbye to all hope. I wish you the very best.

FrenchyGirl 8/25/2015 - 8:56 am

I think he needs to be loved, he needs friends. And we needs friends also…

Tristeza 8/25/2015 - 9:04 am

Love is very important and I (think) I’m loved, but unfortunately love can’t save me anymore at this point.

FrenchyGirl 8/25/2015 - 9:04 am

Why not. If you’re loved it’s good, but if you are loved and you love the person, it’s magical fuel.

Tristeza 8/25/2015 - 9:11 am

I know that my love saved someone’s life. Love saves people. But it can’t save mine — I’m too broken. I’m alive because my last two suicide attempts failed and because my current coping mechanism is to pretend to myself that I will be happy after moving to a distant place.

I don’t wanna hijack hogpotters post so it’s better to stop here.

FrenchyGirl 8/25/2015 - 9:21 am

Talk me on another post, wherever you want.

Tristeza 8/25/2015 - 9:28 am

I don’t have much to say. In the end things are simply what I said and that’s it. But I’m here to talk to you or answer questions if you want to.

FrenchyGirl 8/25/2015 - 9:30 am

Take me on another post.

Tristeza 8/25/2015 - 9:41 am

@Frenchy What post? I’m so lost without the comment page lol

FrenchyGirl 8/25/2015 - 9:06 am

I read your posts Hog, what is the reason why you feel like that?

FrenchyGirl 8/25/2015 - 9:07 am

Hog, you wrote very beautiful words, do you remember?

If I could meet my 12 year old self, I would tell her,

“Be happy. There’s no need to be so sad… It won’t solve anything nor is it of any use. Smile, because everything will be just fine. When you’re as big as me you’ll look back and realize the beauty is much more meaningful compared to the pain.”…

hogpotter 8/25/2015 - 9:38 am

@Frenchygirl: Did I… say that? Did my future self say that? Thanks for reminding me. Love… Love keeps us alive.

Everyone, thank you. I’ll survive.

The Indigo Kydd 8/25/2015 - 10:17 am

curiousity killed thr kat; satisfaction brought it back: hogpotter, where doth this nameth cometh frometh?

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