Honest Obituary

When I finally get the courage to step out of this joke called life, I want my obituary to be honest. “She is survived by her cats, the only living creatures that loved her unconditionally. Some people on a website might be sad she’s gone, but the rest of us couldn’t be bothered to treat her like anything but a burden while she was alive. We’ll just brush aside the fact she was the most loyal person we ever met. Thank goodness she’s gone!”