i can’t fucking believe it.

i’m not in a very good place right now. today i got on facebook and discovered ‘she’ sent me a friend request – the ‘she’ who my dad cheated with all those months ago, subsequently ruining mine and my mom’s lives. i guess she honestly doesn’t believe she did anything wrong that night… i don’t know what the hell kind of drug she was on… but how dare she. i saw that today and everything came flooding right back to me, all of it. i feel like i’ve been hit in the stomach and now i can’t breathe. what’s worse, my older sister is friends with her still, apparently, because her name popped up as ‘mutual friend of…” me and my older sister use to be so close. we talked all the time. now how can i talk to her anymore, knowing everything i tell her she is probably relaying back to that skank. i’m thinking now of deleting my entire facebook. it’s like reliving it all over. i feel like i have no family anymore, and i don’t think she understands that, or the pain i’ve gone through, all the times i’ve been – this – close to ending my life over it. so why not waste my existence now. i’m tempted!!