As the title states. Within the week I’ll be dead. I just need to make sure I get last minute things taken care of before I go. I have a few attempts in the past. Wrist cutting never did the trick no matter how deep I went. I’ll hang myself this time. I have the rope already set up at a perfect length for a drop hanging. And I know where I’m going to do it. I have hopes and dreams like most people. I unfortunately will not have them fulfilled. I am ex military, married but separated and had 2 girls with my wife. One of them, passed away at 9 months old. She passed away in her sleep one night. The medical examiners report says she passed away from SIDS. My wife and I however, were both arrested on child neglect charges because we didn’t check on her during the night. She slept through the night every night. We just let her be until morning when we hear her wake up. I want to be a teacher someday. I want to teach high school English and have a life and a family. My attorney called me today and told me the prosecutor also wants to add on an extra charge. Involuntary manslaughter. I haven’t done anything wrong. I’m a very loving father. I’m a good guy, I work hard I love my family. But now I’ve lost all hope. I feel like I’m in a nightmare. I never did anything wrong. Our justice system is truly fucked. So with all that being said, I am going to hang myself before the week is through. I know I’ll be hurting so many people in doing so, but I refused to go to prison because of my daughters death. I love her so much, this has been so hard and I am done living through this hell. It won’t be long, we’ll meet again.
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16 comments
Hey, I’m sorry to hear what you’re going thru. These charges don’t sound right. Are u sure they have a case?
First off, I want to express how truly sorry I am for your situation. I know what it is like to lose a child. I know those words me NOTHING but I had to say them. The pain that you are left with is beyond compare. With all that you have going on, I do not blame you for your decision. I only wish you the peace that you deserve.
Our justice system is beyond fucked up. I know that first hand. We do not live in a fair world nor country like so many believe. A child dying of SIDS is no ones fault. Sadly, it happens, it’s wrong but its not done at the hand of someone else. And for them to places those charges on you is sick and twisted. How anyone could think that way is beyond me. I hate this world more and more each day.
I hope that if you go through and commit, that it works and you are not left in a worse state. Take care.
Hi. I cant believe this country. They punish he innocent and free the guilty! I had a guy do something to me and just recently the cps decided not to proceed with the case. I know its not the same but wanted to u to know i understand how u feel about our justice system. Im sorry about ur daughter. It must be hard enough losing her than to also have police on ur back
Damn that is fucked up. Sorry that happened to you. Society is nuts! And it’s driving me insane
I’m sorry your facing all these terrible situations. Thank you for your service to this country. What ever you do is your choice, if you choose to die or not. I am worried, however, that your choosing a method that may fail. Not saying it will. I know your ex military and may have a lot more knowledge. I just don’t want to see you suffer before you die or have it fail. Have you considered other methods that are more quick and reliable?
I don’t even know what to say. This is just awful! You don’t deserve these charges, I believe you’re completely innocence. I know you feel your back is against the wall, but if the evidence against you is weak, you have a very good chance of being acquitted.
I’m very sorry and I wish you the best. I understand the position you’re in but I still hope you decide against ending your life now. We support you and we’ll even start a petition for you to fight these charges!
This is so horrible. I’m so sorry for your situation and for your loss. I don’t know what to say…
Fuck that shit man. I’m not gonna tell you that It’s your decision and it’s your right to choose to die and I support you.
Fuck no. You have done nothing wrong. You are ex-military , you have been trained to fight and that is what you should be doing. Fight for yourself. Fight for your daughter. You said you want a family and you want a life. You want to be an English teacher. You don’t deserve to lose everything when you have done nothing wrong.
Come on man, you know you don’t want to quit, you know your daughter would never want you to do that. I know you will have a huge battle on your hands especially when you first have to fight off the Depression and then fight for what is right. Your right to live the life that you deserve because you did nothing wrong. If the medical report says she passed away from SIDS then how can you be held accountable.
I’d never support your decision if that decision was to give up because I don’t believe that is what you want. Stand up and fight, you have my support. Best wishes. Take care.
What an awful way to deal with a grieving family. As if you’re not already dealing with enough, they keep adding on ridiculous charges. It’s not like you did it yourself, or that you wanted to. Those are stupid assumptions for them to make that you killed her. Parents can’t watch over their children 24/7. Parents need sleep sometime too.
I’m sorry for your loss and everything else you’re going through. You still have another daughter who I’m sure would be devastated if you did decide to leave. Thank you for your service, and please stay strong. <3
Stay strong, you’ll get through this, and it’ll make you stronger when you come out on the other end.
Went for a walk with the dog this morning to scout out locations. Found the perfect spot. I’m going to do it tonight.
🙁 This is really awful! You do not deserve the treatment you’re receiving. I don’t understand how they are trying to build a criminal case against you based entirely on speculation.
I know you made your decision, but there is really no other option?
I mean, I have the perfect way and plan set up for when I decide to, but just because you have a plan doesn’t mean it needs acted out right now. You should take at least 24 hours to think it over. Please. Then if you feel the same, do what you need to do.
I agree with hiohneh there… there’s no sense on what they are doing. I understand that they have to be extra careful enforcing child protection laws, but you didn’t do anything wrong, and if anything, it looks more like they are trying to make an example out of you than anything (again, you did nothing wrong).
I know you already have your mind set, but wouldn’t it be better to see this through? to be honest i doubt their charges will be taken seriously on a court of law, so there might be a light at the end of this situation. I’m guessing that your other daughter also needs you, so… yeah, maybe you might reconsider hanging on to see things through? you can always go back to your plan if everything goes bad later.
I hope you don’t go through with it… at least wait until the trial is through. I don’t agree with the charges but at least see it through… you have a fairly good chance of being found not guilty which can be found based on character. I’m not a lawyer nor do I claim to be but (at least in Canada) there is an element of the prosecution (we call it Crown) to prove a “criminal mind” (mens rea)… basically proving you had intent to neglect. There are three elements that are required to be proven by the Crown: guilty act (actus reaus) plus guilty mind (mens rea) plus guilty beyond reasonable doubt. Many countries follow these elements (but I can’t say that they are universal as I only studied Canadian law).
Having a SIDS conviction is extremely rare…. rare still is an arrest. You have a very good chance of a non-conviction (based on the limited information) .
You are a loving husband and your surviving child needs a father. I don’t doubt that things look bleak. I feel for you. I hope you don’t throw in the towel as hard as it seems, I hope you stick around.
Ps. Thank you for your military service (from a Canadian) .
Don’t you do it!!! There is another child and wife who need you to be their rock. If you think your world is a mess just think of how this will affect your other little girl. Damn it, she needs her daddy. Your wife needs her husband. You need to be there for them. you need to be their protector. You are a soldier – to your family first. Take care of them. You are needed.
Sam